2010

What a year it has been! Definitely memorable in so many ways. I stole this quiz from Lawyerish. Go read hers; she's full of fun!
 
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? Bought a house. That was a big deal.
 
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  I don't remember making any this year. I doubt I will next year, either. Maybe a to-do list like Jennie, but probably not any actual resolutions. The to-do list seems much more manageable and smart.
 
3. Did anyone close to you have a child?  Yes! The day after me! :)
 
4. Did anyone close to you die?  No. Someone close to people close to me, but no one close to me.
 
5. Where did you travel?  Oklahoma. Lame, I know. But we moved here from Tokyo in January.
 
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?  Motivation.
 
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?  February 19 (day we closed on the house). May 5 (day we found out we were pregnant). December 22 (day Eriana was born).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Delivering Eriana. And finishing my Master's. But Eriana was the biggest.
 
9. What was your biggest failure? I think I felt like a failure for part of the year due to unresolved depression surrounding Angel's birth. But I'm really proud of the person I am and how I've been able to endure through great stress.
 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  Not really, no. Just regular sick and pregnancy sick and recovery from cesarean pain.
 
11. What was the best thing you bought?  Toyota Prius. Love our car!
 
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?  Jim's. He's incredible. How'd I get so lucky?
 
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  Several members of our family who have been very not there for us after Angel's death and in the wake of our pregnancy with Eriana. Several people just didn't know how to act toward us and so rather than offering any kind of support they were silent. And others chose to avoid tact altogether, which was very disheartening.
 
14. Where did most of your money go?  Mortgage and furniture/stuff moving in; new car payment.
 
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Eriana.
 
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?  Wow, I don't know. I can't really think of one. I listened to a lot more NPR than music this year.
 
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  a) happier or sadder?  b) thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer?   Happier; Thinner; Uh... richer in a lot of ways, but not financially.
 
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  Run.
 
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Cry.
 
20. How will you be spending Christmas?  We spent Christmas at home, just the seven of us (including our pets and Angel's spirit). We were discharged from the hospital in the morning and got to take our precious present home.
 
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?  Every day, over and over with Jim. And each time I look at Eriana.
 
22. What was your favorite TV program?  The Amazing Race, probably. What a great show!
 
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  No. Hate's a really strong word. There are definitely people with whom I've severed ties, but no one I hate.
 
24. What was the best book you read?  Tough one! I guess New York the Novel. Wonderful! I read it twice.
 
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  ZZ Top. How great are they!?
 
26. What did you want and get?  A daughter I got to bring home.
 
28. What did you want and not get?  The job of my dreams.
 
29. What was your favorite film of this year?  I don't know. Harry Potter was pretty great. And Twilight.
 
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I was 28. I don't remember what I did... Must have been memorable.
 
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  Angel.
 
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?  Comfortable. I was pregnant for half the year, so I was just trying to accommodate the belly and stay fully clothed.
 
33. What kept you sane?  Jim. He always keeps me sane. Oh, and good antidepressants.
 
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Uh... None? I don't know. I always have a thing for Will Smith and Antonio Banderas.
 
35. What political issue stirred you the most?  Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
 
36. Who did you miss?  My friends in Japan. Luckily most of them have left Japan now and we can hopefully visit with them soon!
 
37. Who was the best new person you met?  Eriana. :)
 
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.  Life is never what you think it will be, but always works out when you stay positive.
 
Here's to 2011; hope yours is as great as I plan on mine being! :)

Baby Guessing Game WINNERS!

Well, it took me a week, but I figured out the winners of the guessing game! I'll be getting in touch with the winners directly as soon as I can. Cut me some slack; I've got a newborn! :)

Weight: 7 lbs, 6 oz; WINNER: Anna!
Length: 18.5 inches; WINNER: Kelly!
Hair: Light Brown fuzzies; WINNER: Michelle (yes, I'm aware that this blog is protected, but if you know the family, you can get the password from Michelle)!
Time of birth: 8:43am; WINNER: Kelly!
Name: Guess - Eliana (so close!); WINNER: Jeanne!
Middle Name: Guess - Danielle (three correct guesses; winner chosen at random); WINNER: Amy!

Thanks to everyone for playing! Kelly was the big winner with 2 correct guesses!

Hooray!

Week 1

Eriana is amazing. We waited so long to be able to be parents to our child that this is just incredible and surreal. We look at our daughter and are amazed by everything about her. Parenting a newborn is hard, and we've had our share of learning experiences so far, with millions more to follow in the coming years. But we are so blessed and trying to take everything in stride. Here's the link to a photo album on Picasa that holds pictures of our girl. There's an option near the top of the screen to view as a slide show. I'll try to be diligent about updating it! We only take 10 million pictures of her a day. :)

picasaweb.google.com/JTDAngelo/ErianaDanielle?authkey=Gv1sRgCLDS_Nj495XMeQ&feat=directlink

We'll be sending out after-holiday cards and birth announcements in the coming days. If you'd like one and aren't sure if I have your address, please send it to me via e-mail at tara dot dangelo at yahoo dot com. :)

Gonna go snuggle my bug now. :)

Introducing...

Eriana Danielle!



Born Wednesday, December 22 at 8:43 am. 7 lbs, 6 oz; 18.5 inches long.

We could not be happier that our little girl is here, healthy and so beautiful. We may be a little biased, but we think her birth should have made the national news: "Most Beautiful Baby Ever Born in Oklahoma"! I'll share more later.

She was already sucking on her fingers and holding her hand up to her mouth by herself!



She was wiggling around in her monitor bed in the nursery so much that she kept turning herself the wrong way and scooting down to the bottom of the bed.

TOMORROW!

I woke up this morning with the song from Annie, "Tomorrow" in my head. I do love tomorrow! I can hardly wait to meet our girl!

My surgery was scheduled for 7am, and I was SO excited about that, but this afternoon I got a call that it changed to 8:15 due to a special surgery my doctor needs to perform. I guess I can wait an extra hour! Oh, but it's going to be so hard to wait! Still, knowing I'll see my baby finally tomorrow is so wonderful. I have to check in at 6:45, and I can't eat or drink after midnight. I'm going to be thirsty, but I doubt I'll have issues with the eating part, considering I hope to be in bed by around 9 tonight! My dad is meeting us at Pei Wei for dinner, so I'm definitely going to pig out on fried rice!

I feel like I might be in pre-labor, and it's not very much fun. I'm having some mucous discharge (TMI and GROSS, I know, but come on!), and that's how my labor started last time. But the baby's still moving a lot and I'm not having contractions, so I'm not really worried. Besides, by this point, if I go into labor we just pack up the car and head to the hospital and they call in my doctor to deliver. Not really that big of a deal, I guess, except for, you know, the terror I will undoubtedly feel.

I did NOT finish my freezable meals project, and I'm really disappointed because we have all of the ingredients for 7 more meals in the pantry and fridge that are not cooked and frozen. I'm hoping against hope that everything doesn't go bad before we can use it. And I'm really sad that I only have 17 meals. I know, that's a lot. And Jim can cook, so provided the food doesn't go bad he can make stuff when we get home. Still. Disappointed.

Today we installed the car seat, then I went to the fire station to have the installation inspected. The guys at the fire station were great. So nice. They were talking to me about the Prius and we got into a conversation about hybrids and electric cars. I think perhaps Jim should have gone because he's really into stuff like that and could have engaged the conversation better than me. Oh well. :)

My bags are packed, my last-minute packing-list is made, my text and e-mail lists are ready in my cell phone and yahoo account, respectively, the camera, cell phones, netbook and kindle are charged, and I'm ready to have a baby! I'll let you know how it goes! Until then, follow me on Twitter or Facebook, and I'll update the blog as soon as I'm able. Thanks for your prayers and positive thoughts! I'll leave you with my last weekly belly shot of this pregnancy. Raisele wanted to be in the picture, so I told her to sit and she stayed for the pic. Funny puppy girl!

Oh, HEY!

I'm having a baby in three days. THREE DAYS! That's very exciting and scary and wonderful and terrifying and exciting a million more times.

Yesterday Eddy wasn't very active and I spent about half the day scared and pushing on my belly and trying to get her to wake up and move. Of course when I settled in to go to bed she went crazy, which was a lovely way to wind down my day. Today she's as active as ever, so I'm glad for that!

Today Jim and I are cleaning out part of the garage with my little sister today. We are anticipating getting a deep freezer in the next few weeks and need to make room for it. And I have 9 more recipes on my list for my freezable meals project with all ingredients bought and ready to cook. Except chicken. Because Baby Brain hit me pretty hard last night and I cooked 3 lbs of chicken so that I could have some ready for another recipe because I only needed 2 lbs for the meal I was making for dinner, and then instead of reserving 1 lb, I put it all in the casserole I made last night. Lovely. So I need 1 lb of chicken. But even if I don't get all of the meals ready and in the freezer before Wednesday, since the food is already bought and Jim can cook, he can make the remaining meals when we come back from the hospital.

Meanwhile, I finished all of my Christmas projects and could not be more thrilled about that! I wrapped everything and got the out-of-town gifts ready to ship on Monday, and the in-town gifts ready to deliver to my sister on Monday. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday afternoon, dinner with some girlfriends Monday night, dinner with my dad on Tuesday night, and I'm having a baby on Wednesday! I took tomorrow and Tuesday off of work, so I get to sleep in and relax/cook freezable meals on those two days, and just enjoy my time with Jim before it's the three of us instead of the two of us.

I can't help but be nervous and wonder how everything will go on Wednesday. I won't be able to breathe easily until I hear that baby screaming in the OR. I'm so ready. I'm so excited. I can't wait.

PS Don't forget to enter the Baby Eddy Guessing Game! Guessing closes tonight at midnight. :)

Eviction Notice

Dear Eddy: You've been a pretty good tenant (if we don't discuss the heartburn, nausea, rib and bladder kicking, etc.), but this notice is to inform you that you will be evicted from your current home one week from today and moved to a new home. If you so choose, you may move out early, but on December 22, 2010 you will be forcibly removed if you have not yet vacated my belly. Hope you have a good week! Love, Mama

36 WEEKS!/8 DAYS!

Wow, I really feel like this year has flown by. Maybe it's because I've been pregnant, maybe it's because we've had so many changes in our lives this year, but I can hardly believe I'm already 36 weeks along and we're just a couple of weeks or so away from 2011! It hit me over this last weekend that our baby girl could arrive anytime. Sure, we have this countdown going, but technically, I could go into labor and she could come early! So we're at 8 days or less now. YIKES!

I had an appointment yesterday, and the NST was good. Baby Eddy moves a lot, and was responding as she should. We also had an ultrasound and our little girl is not having any trouble growing. I'm so thankful for that! I'm still between 4-5 lbs gained, but she weighs right where she should for her gestational age (no hints, people; some of you haven't entered the guessing game yet!). The doctor isn't worried about my weight gain because the baby's doing fine, and I'm healthy. It sounds good to me, this not gaining weight thing. I'll leave the hospital lighter than I started my FIRST pregnancy at this rate. That will really help as I try to get back into shape! We got to see her little face in the ultrasound, and she's just so precious. She looks a lot like Jim, I think, and a lot like Angel did at birth. That's a little hard to swallow, the thought that she might look just like her sister would have as she grows, but I know that it is a blessing rather than a curse if that turns out to be true.

I kind of broke down in fear the other night, and Jim was just amazing (as always) with his empathy and his love and his kindness. I'm so thankful for him! The closer we get to December 22nd, the more scared I get. I'm feeling better about things after Jim and I talked, but it's still really scary, having a healthy pregnancy so far and knowing our child is getting ready to come into the world. We have an excellent doctor, but we had that last time, too. I'm just ready for it to be surgery day, and meanwhile I'm being really diligent about kick counts and making sure she's not quiet for too long. I just love to feel her move.

The late-pregnancy "discomfort" is starting to wear me out. What my friend Leslie calls the "ice pick in the cervix" (sorry, male readers) is happening more times a day than I care to count, and sometimes will stop me in my tracks, it's so painful. This morning I rolled over in bed and got a super sharp pain at the bottom of my stomach which went unappreciated. And walking is proving to be more difficult each day, although I'm not waddling! I get out of breath easily, and I feel it more than ever at the end of the day when I have done too much throughout the day. Plus, I've been swelling a little bit when I've been on my feet too much through the day. I had hoped to avoid the water retention by delivering early because I really love my winter boots (silly reason, I know), but they zip up to mid-calf (so when my feet/legs swell they get tighter). And I've been feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions more than before, though they aren't painful labor contractions by any means. Just this kid right below my ribs makes my contractions push up further and makes me feel them more easily. Needless to say, I'm ready for this kid to be born (for SO many reasons)! I wish there was a way I could let my body know that it won't need to go into labor so that it would stop practicing, widening my pelvis, etc. Thank GOD I'm delivering 3 weeks early.

Since I finally finished the nursery, I'm breathing a little easier. Now I have to finish late December/early January birthday presents and cards, finish Christmas presents, get a little further in my freezable meals project, and get my lists of texting numbers/e-mail addresses ready to go to the hospital for the day-of-birth announcement. I know that our families will go easy on us if I don't finish birthday/Christmas stuff in time, but I'd really like for it to all be done. It would make me rest easier knowing I don't have to finish that stuff after we go home.

Anywho. Hope you're all having a wonderful week so far. 8 days and counting!

NURSERY IS FINISHED!

I FINALLY finished the nursery last night, with 12 days to spare. Good grief, what a relief! (Totally didn't anticipate that rhyming when I started typing it out, but because I'm a dork I'm going to leave it...)

Looking into the room from the hall. Door on the left is the closet. My sister made the curtains, and a good friend in Japan painted the elephant prints. The pink tub next to the crib is our current toy box (gotta have a lid so the puppies don't try to steal her toys), and the box on top is full of toys, but I haven't washed those yet, so they aren't in the box with the others.



Across the room from in front of the closet. All of the photos in the big brown frames are ones of elephants that friends or family members took. The house-shaped frame on the right is pictures from right before and right after my birth, and the rectangular frame below it holds pictures of Jim and me from our childhoods. The brown frame on the light pink wall is the Horizons cover made for me when I left my job at Marketing in Japan the first time I was pregnant.



Into the closet from the middle of the room. I'm only a little bit OCD. We have two of the calendars that are hanging on the inside of the door - one in Spanish and one in English. Once Eddy is alert enough we will start going over things in both languages every day to give her a basic knowledge of day-to-day stuff in both languages (before we let Dora and Diego take over her Spanish education).



From beside the crib across the room. The elephant print above the bookshelf is from Nerdy Baby and tells Newton's three laws of motion. The fire truck is from Jim's childhood. You can also see under the changing table which, again, expresses my little bit of OCD. This will all stay organized until Eddy's old enough to make it all a mess. Six months of nursery organization is more than I can ask for. :)



To say that I love this room would be a major understatement. And just so you know (since one of our friends asked), we are NOT trying to make our child a Republican. She can have whatever political beliefs she wants. I just love elephants. :)

Anywho... If you're local, I can't wait for you to see the nursery in person. If you're not, well, just know it's beautiful! :)

Jim's Birthday Plus Miscellaneous Stuff

Saturday was my love's birthday and we didn't do a whole lot to celebrate because, well, we're kind of boring (and we like it!). Jim turned 27, and I'm so excited that he did because when Eddy's born he'll be 27 and I'll be 28 and it will SEEM like I'm just a little bit older than him (until I turn 29 in the spring) and that makes me happy. I know, I'm weird. We slept in on Saturday morning and I made cinnamon scones (from a can) and coffee. We watched tv and then I cleaned the house and Jim worked and played video games. Then Saturday evening my sister and her wonderful kiddos came by and my mom came by to give Jim birthday presents and love.

Side note: Best question so far this pregnancy came Saturday evening from our sweet 2-year-old niece. She asked me, "Did Baby Eddy fall out yet?" So funny.

Jim was the happy recipient of candy, Coke Zero, coffee and money for his birthday. What could be better? Then we went out for Mexican food and to a late movie (the 9pm show!) to see "Due Date." It was a VERY funny movie. We both laughed a lot. It's not for the faint of heart, though. If you're sensitive to dirty humor you might avoid this one. :)

On to the miscellany!

-I sent in questions to a couple of my favorite blogs and they were posted here and here. I love these blogs and even more because they are HELPFUL in addition to being entertaining!

-I am 35 weeks pregnant today. I went to the doctor yesterday and everything was good. The baby is fine, movement is good, I wasn't dilated (I had to have a swab, so he went ahead and checked me... sorry for the tmi :)), and the NST was great. I have an ultrasound next Monday along with my normal NST and doctor check-up. 15 days to delivery!

-My alma mater, the University of Oklahoma, played the University of Nebraska-Lincoln for the Big 12 Championship title on Saturday and I'm SO excited that we won. My step-dad is an avid UNL fan and it's a fun thing about which to taunt each other. In honor of the big game on Saturday I decorated his car while he was at work. He has the unfortunate problem of working in a building behind my office building and my office looks out on his parking lot. Sorry, Bob! Lots of love to you!



I didn't get to do as much as I might have because I was rushing, hoping he wasn't going to come outside for a break. But the windows are all written on in car chalk, and the balloons all say OU. I posted the pictures on Facebook, too, and one of my step-brothers was really indignant that I would desecrate his dad's car. Fun times. :) (I told my mom I was nervous because I've been playing pranks on Bob and that since payback hasn't come yet I feel like I should be looking over my shoulder; she told me she would if she were me... Kind of forboding!)

-I only have 2 more work weeks left, and I am really excited about that! I feel like the days are dragging by, but I know that December 22 will be here before we know it. I'm taking the two days before my delivery off to finish getting everything ready, pack my bag, relax, etc. Meanwhile, in the evenings and on weekends I'm still working really hard on Christmas presents and late December/early January birthday presents, hoping I'll get everything accomplished in a reasonable period of time. I wish I could bring Christmas presents to work to work on, but that would be a waste of company time. Not a good idea. :)

-I started a new book series this week (Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins) and the books are so far so amazing that five days after the purchase of the first book I'm halfway through the second. (Of course they aren't particularly long, and I read fast, but still...) The verdict is still out, until I finish the third book (it's a three-part series) but for now I'm loving them. More on the book page once I'm done; I'll write a short review.

-I started my cooking project for freezing meals before Eddy's arrival. I cooked for about half the day on Sunday and we now have 8 meals in the freezer (some are duplicates) ready to be heated/cooked. I have a stack of recipes to make over the next two weekends. My goal is to have about a month's worth in the freezer before the 22nd. (If you have any freezable recipes to share let me know! And I'm planning to type all these recipes up in a collection so that I can send them to those who ask. One prego friend already has asked, and I'm very happy to share the ones that have worked for us.) It was really nice after my first pregnancy to have a bunch of meals already made and in the freezer. Of course, our wonderful friends kept us fed for almost a month after we came home from the hospital, which was a blessing in and of itself, but I don't want to rely on the kindness and generosity of others and not make contingency plans, especially because I'm delivering right before Christmas. Plus, how wonderful will it be to not have to worry about dinner for awhile!

I think that's all on my agenda for now. Hoping these next 15 days fly by in some respects, but crawl along in others. I really need to finish up Christmas presents! :)

My Maternity Clothes Must-Haves

I don't claim to be an expert on maternity clothes, by any means. But I have been pregnant for almost the last two years straight, and I have definitely figured out what I like and what I don't, what I needed, and what I didn't in the realm of maternity clothes. I worked in a business casual office, didn't work, worked in a bit dressier business casual office, and finally in an office where I wear jeans and comfy "business" casual shirts. Here's a list of my must-haves from my pregnancies.



1. A comfy, STRETCHY pair of jeans. I have 4 pairs of jeans and some casual pants, but one pair of my jeans don't have a panel at all, and weren't very conducive to a growing belly after the middle of the second trimester, and the other two pairs don't have a lot of stretch which doesn't really work for me in my third. My casual pants are okay, but one pair doesn't have a full panel and it slips a lot, and the others don't have as much stretch as I like with my giant belly. I wear this pair every day, no lie. I wash them 3 times a week so I can wear them every day.

2. A few pairs of maternity slacks. I bought these and they are so comfy. There's a lot of give, a full panel, and I can wear them with flats or heels. Also, they are dressy enough for work, if you need work slacks, but can be paired with a casual shirt for family events, non-jean events, or church.

3. A couple of dresses. I found great sales at Motherhood and have three maternity dresses I bought from there. They have been great for fancy dinners, baby showers, work, etc. It's nice to have something a bit more dressy, but still super comfy.

4. Shirts in a handful of colors. I kind of went overboard the first time I was pregnant and had a million shirts. Also, both times I have been pregnant from the spring to winter, which requires a full year's worth of clothing choices. I found that I have my favorite shirts, and I pretty much wear them over and over again. Most of them are jersey (t-shirt) material, and they are in a variety of styles/sleeve-lengths, so that I can wear them with jeans or slacks and dress them up with jewelry or heels or a fancy sweater, or wear them to run errands or whatever else. I found a fantastic selection at Old Navy, and a lot of my maternity shirts are tight because I like to show off how big the belly is! :)

5. A couple of fun t-shirts. Let's face it, being pregnant isn't the most fun thing in the world. Sometimes you need a laugh, or to make others laugh not at your expense, but with your situation. Having a couple of fun shirts that will make people do a double-take is a necessity for me.

6. Maternity/nursing bras. Not all women experience a significant change in their chest size while pregnant, but a lot do. I bought these bras the first time I was pregnant and wore them toward the end of both pregnancies. Since they are also nursing bras you can use them for more than just your pregnancy, so the price is justified, and you can buy them in a bigger size than your normal bras so that as you, um, grow, you're still comfortable. Plus, these are so comfortable!

7. Bigger pajamas. This may seem unnecessary, but my regular pajamas don't fit me very well these days, and I love having the bigger-sized pants and nightgowns I bought during my first pregnancy. Plus, I wore them after my first pregnancy when everything was sore and I was still larger than I wanted to be. I have stretchy, comfy pants and nightgowns that I wear as long shirts. It's much more comfortable than Jim's pj pants and undershirts (my back-up bigger-sized pjs).

8. Cardigan-style sweaters. As I mentioned before, since my pregnancies have spanned the seasons quite nicely, it has been necessary to have a full-year's worth of clothes. However, the heating coil in my belly keeps me pretty warm, even when it's 30 degrees outside. I swear by cardigans, which tend to be stretchy, so you don't have to buy maternity sweaters, and tend to be a bit warmer than a light jacket (and not as confining), but aren't as warm as a winter coat. I have about 5 cardigans that will still button or tie over my belly. I wear them pretty much every day.

9. Tank tops. It's proven well-worth it to me to buy maternity tank tops. I generally like to wear a tank top each day, because I'm not too keen on showing off my cleavage or bra straps, and tank tops seem to cover this problem. But maternity tank tops are made for big bellies, and go all the way down to the bottom of the panel on your pants, or past that. Even though you will just wear them during pregnancy, it's worth it.

What maternity stuff did you/do you swear by?

Christmas!

Monday I put 2 and 2 together and realized that if I'm having this baby in 23 days (21 today), then Christmas was 26 days away, and I should probably make the time to finish up the presents I'm supposed to be making. You'd think I would have realized this earlier, especially since I bought all of the stuff to make the presents awhile back and started working on them several weeks ago. But I've been working on the nursery and had a stomach bug and then had Thanksgiving, and then had Angel's birthday and... I haven't gotten the presents done.

I did, however, start working on them a bit last night. So if you're a family member who is expecting a Christmas present, even though we won't be at Christmas this year (you know, having a baby and all...), then rest assured that you will have a present to open from our family. Even you out-of-towners. I'll get them done.

I'm actually really excited about the presents we're giving this year. We're on a pretty tight budget (you know, having a baby and all...), but I still wanted to give something that was both thoughtful and useful. I think I've managed to succeed on all accounts. Jim thought my ideas were great. He's a little partial to me, so sometimes I just have to take his high opinions of me with a smile and nod, but he seemed legitimately excited about the presents with which I came up. Of course, since my family members read this blog I can't reveal the presents until after Christmas (I'm sure I'll have a whole lot of time THEN, haha!), but I'm excited. And don't worry, family members: this isn't like Tara's budget Christmas where you all got homemade stuff on my $50 budget that you probably threw away or gave to Goodwill. This is stuff that takes thought and effort and time.

On my Christmas list this year was a cheese grater. Yes. I asked my husband for a cheese grater. Have you seen this one? Wow, so cool. It has a measuring device on the side so you can SEE while you're grating how much you're grating, and it has a trap at the bottom so that if you have to readjust halfway through a block of cheese you don't have to worry about all of it falling out onto the plate or bowl or kitchen counter where you're grating. It's really cool. I also asked for a designer hospital gown, which I just ordered for myself over the weekend. And I added a baby to the list, in case Jim wants to give me one of those. I'll take a little girl. About three days before Christmas.

Jim said he wanted a baby for Christmas, too. And that we could share the cheese grater. I may or may not have listened to him on that and I may or may not have gotten him something really great for Christmas. :) He doesn't read the blog very often, so unless one of you family members or friends decides to rat me out, there's a good chance he won't know till I give him a present (that I MAY or MAY NOT have gotten him) and he gives me a sheepish grin, and hopefully a hug and kiss of joy (UNLESS I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FOR HIM) that he's getting something besides half a baby and half a cheese grater (UNLESS HE'S NOT!).

We put up our Christmas tree on Friday, with a lot of help from my baby sister, who was in town and working hard on the nursery for us. It was really nice to put it up this year, and even nicer to have family around while we did it. We've never had family around when we're decorating for Christmas. Last year we didn't celebrate Christmas. It is good to have something to celebrate again this year. (Ignore the fact that our tree topper looks like she's about to fall off the tree; I think this will be the last year for our $25, used Christmas tree as it's been pretty troublesome.)



I also, inspired by this post, made a wreath for our front door in the shape of our last initial. I must say that it's a difficult letter, because it was hard to not make it look like an O, but I think I did a pretty good job! If anyone local wants to try their own, I have an extra 12 feet of greenery I didn't need that you're welcome to (I already threw out the wrapping, so I can't return it).



Well, that's about it for now. Can't wait to reveal my work on Christmas gifts after the holiday! Hopefully our family members will be excited about them and appreciate my efforts. :) To all of my readers I wish you a lovely holiday season. And to you Jewish folks especially since Hanukkah starts tomorrow!

One Year Ago

A year ago today the world stopped turning for Jim and me. Most of you know the story, but I'll give a brief background just in case you don't. A more comprehensive story of my labor and delivery can be found on the Labor & Delivery page of this blog. Just e-mail me for the password (but if you're a stranger, I may not grant the request).

I started this blog when Jim and I were living in Japan, where he was stationed with the Air Force. I started it when we got pregnant for the first time, and I wanted our families and friends in the States to be able to keep up with the progress. We found out about our little geekling on March 23, 2009, seven years to the day after we got engaged. My due date was calculated to be December 4th - my husband's birthday and my all-time favorite day of the year. I was really healthy during my pregnancy: I ran through my first trimester, and swam laps and/or walked several miles almost daily through the second and third. I didn't gain too much weight. My pregnancy was rough, with lots of nausea all the way through, heartburn, aches, pains and major headaches. But I knew it would all be worth it and I was so excited. We found out our baby was a girl at 15 weeks, and then confirmed it at 21 weeks before announcing it to our family and friends. Our apartment soon exploded in pinks and purples and we were so very excited about our baby. We picked out two beautiful names and decided to wait until we met our daughter to name her. She would have been either Annalisa Margaret or Natalia Margaret. I quit my job in August so that I could focus on finishing up my graduate degree before our daughter's arrival. I finished my coursework in October and then settled into a relaxed routine of waiting for baby. Jim had another year and a half in the military, and I was planning to be a stay-at-home-mom to our daughter.

The night of Thanksgiving 2009 I went into labor. We had enjoyed a small feast at home with a friend and Jim and his friend had pulled out our Christmas decorations so Jim and I could decorate our apartment the next day. Around 9pm my contractions were regular and by 12pm I was at the hospital. The rest of the story is, well, heartbreaking. In short, our daughter didn't tolerate my contractions, I was, eventually, taken into an emergency c-section and after her delivery we thought everything was going to be okay until the pediatrician came to tell us they had been working on our girl for 30 minutes and hadn't been able to start her breathing. After the delivery and pediatric teams went over everything and the pathologist finished his autopsy, it turns out everything that pretty much everything that can go wrong during labor and delivery did go wrong. Our sweet baby probably would not have made it no matter what was done, and no matter what medical technology had been available at our base hospital. After a full-term, healthy, successful pregnancy, I gave birth to a daughter who did not live.

The world stopped turning on November 27, 2009, when we lost our daughter. I carried her for 39 weeks. We became parents that day but have never been able to be parents to our child. We named her Angel, her role of watching over us from above reflected in her name.

There has been a lot of healing in the last year. We requested and were granted an assignment back to the States, in Oklahoma to be near my family, since Jim's is spread out across the country and mine is pretty much in one place with a few exceptions. Jim requested and was granted an early out from the military and our civilian life, while difficult in a lot of ways, has been wonderful so far. We bought a house, we got 2 dogs to add to the cat we brought with us back from Japan. And just five months after Angel's birth we became pregnant again. I'm now almost 34 weeks along with another daughter, and I have a careful and kind and very knowledgable doctor who is taking every necessary step and precaution to ensure this child will have the greatest chance possible. In 25 days I plan to deliver her at just past the full-term mark via a scheduled caesarean.

But with the healing we've encountered a lot of really low lows. Jim and I have both suffered from depressive episodes. I, who have suffered from chronic depression for a number of years, sought chemical help and upped my dosage of antidepressants after we moved to the States. There have been days for both of us when we don't know what to do and getting out of bed is difficult, let alone trying to get through the day. There have been days when I am so scared about Eddy's birth and life that I worry all day, even though I know it's not good for her. I have struggled with working on the house to get it ready to bring home our second daughter because I have this horrible, terrible fear in the back of my mind that we won't get to bring her home, either.

But despite all of the above (and so much more), we're hopeful, and we continue to heal. We've both sought help from professionals who can talk us through what we're feeling and help us come out on the other side. We've sought ultimate refuge in each other - a step that I'm so thankful we thought to make - and have come together in our love and our love for our daughters more closely than we ever thought possible. We've made decisions together for our future and figured out together what is best for our little family. We hardly ever have outright fights anymore because we generally know how to coherently and respectfully disagree with one another. I, who have always been a pessimistic person, have learned that it's not worth it to get wound up over things you cannot control. I'm more laid back, more positive, and, I've been told, more easy and enjoyable to be around now. I strive to both inwardly and outwardly manage the stressors in my life so that I don't bring undue stress to my current pregnancy. I don't hide my true feelings, or put on a mask, but I've learned to manage any stress in a way that doesn't dwell within me.

This week, as we celebrated Thanksgiving with my family members and each other, I couldn't help but remember every second of my Thanksgiving last year. Last night I was up until after 2 a.m. because I didn't know if I'd be able to sleep or if I'd have nightmares all night about that horrible night last year. I was able to sleep, almost through the night, and I had no nightmares. Though I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, I know that as difficult as the 27th of November will be every year, as hard as it will be to celebrate Thanksgiving and not equate a day of giving thanks with the devastation of losing our first daughter, that we can get through. We've already made it a year. Though each year this time may bring something new and will, undoubtedly, be difficult in and of itself, we still have so very much for which to be thankful. And we can't let Angel's death keep us from living our lives.

One year ago today the world stopped turning for me and Jim. But somehow we've made it through.

Question Answered: Recovery from C-Section

Inspired by a blogging heroine of mine, Swistle, and urged by my wonderful husband to answer some questions I receive (whether received through blogging or not), I am posting my answer to a friend who has a big decision to make very soon. She is in a position where it might be necessary for her to choose to go into labor with a pretty good possibility of an emergency c-section, or scheduling a c-section. Here is my answer, in part (and a bit cleaned up, since typing a Facebook message on my Blackberry isn't all that conducive to editing grammatical and spelling errors/proofreading):

I would TOTALLY recommend scheduling your c-section. I was only in labor for about 10 hours before my surgery, and it was plenty for me, with the recovery from both being the primary concern. Labor is so very exhausting (because even after the epidural your body is working SO hard!) that recovery from both is just, in my opinion, too much. I had really good drugs after the surgery, so that helped my physical recovery, but I don't know what kind of meds they give you when you're nursing. I don't know what the immediate recovery is like without a morphine drip and a steady stream of percocet. My surgery was also really hard, I think, because it was emergency and really rushed. I don't think I was really as numbed as much as I should have been because I could feel a lot more pain than I think I was supposed to. That's another good reason to schedule, I guess!

(Sidenote: I have spoken with friends who had emergency c-sections who did not have the same types of pain during surgery that I had; I think I was so emotionally numb from the whole experience of labor and the emotional stress we were under and I think I told the nurse anesthetist that I was numb when I wasn't because I wasn't focusing on my pain when she was trying to get the medicine to my lower half. The medical team that did my surgery was awesome; I think part of what made my surgery so difficult was the emotional pain I was in.)

My surgery recovery wasn't too terrible, though. It might be different with a newborn, though, without the ability to rest whenever you want. I was given a release to start running again at about 2 weeks, and I had no physical restrictions at about 4 weeks, which was much sooner than I thought. I was done with my percocet and only on motrin within the 2-week mark. I still had random pains until about 6-8 weeks, and kept a bottle of percocet handy for rough moments, but it was a pretty surprisingly swift recovery overall.

Thanks to my wonderful friend for the question! Good luck in the next few weeks; can't wait to meet your sweet baby. :)

Guessing Game

Hi, Everyone!

There's a new page at the top of the blog where you can enter to win prizes for guessing correctly about our girl! Five questions, one comment, up to five winners!

Good luck!

30 Days

Today I had my second NST appointment, and everything went well. The radiologist said that she wasn't moving as much as they would want her to during contractions (I had three small contractions in the 20-minutes or so I was hooked up to the machine, but I'm not having labor contractions, just little ones that I've been having for weeks, and they aren't regular like last Tuesday's debacle), so the radiologist had to "buzz" the baby. Now. If you've never had NSTs and haven't experienced this, just know that it's hilarious. I laughed so hard. Because it's not a shock or anything, like I had previously thought, it's just a machine that makes a buzzing noise that is held against my belly for a split second so the noise goes through the amniotic fluid and wakes the kid up to see how she'll react. Well. Eddy sure reacted. She was moving and kicking like crazy. I was laughing, which moved the belly and made her move more. Oh, it was so funny. So she's good.

I am still not gaining weight, but the doctor isn't concerned about it. My weight was back down 2 lbs from last week, and I've only gained a collective 4 lbs in the whole 33 weeks (I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow). At this point, the baby weighs more than I've gained. At this rate I'll go home from the hospital lighter than when I started the pregnancy! The doctor said my belly is growing fine, and everything looked good with the NST readout and my belly measurement. My blood pressure was good. The nurse noted that today's the 22nd of November so we're exactly a month away. I knew it was 30 days, but it didn't even cross my mind that it's a month from today. CRAZY!

Next appointment next Monday.

Belly Pictures!

Today we went to the University of Oklahoma campus to take some belly pictures with my wonderful older sister. She's not a professional photographer, but she has a fancy camera, and it got the job done. Here's a link to the photos: picasaweb.google.com/JTDAngelo/BellyPicturesByTana?feat=directlink!

I think this one's my favorite of the both of us:



I edited the photos in Microsoft Office Picture Manager and in Picasa by Google. I'm really excited that they turned out so well (and, if you're local, you'll know that the clouds and sun were iffy today, so I'm really excited the sun came out for a while). Eddy will be here in 31 days!

Jim and I are off to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 in a few minutes! YAY! :)

Ridiculous

So... I know you're all astounded by the number of posts I've been putting out lately. Just enjoy it while it lasts. :) Hopefully I'm not boring you all to tears by now!

Yesterday was a CRAZY day. Around noon I started having contractions. They weren't painful; I could feel my belly tighten, and after about 15 seconds or so I would start breathing a little more heavily and then my stomach would relax and Eddy would kick and wiggle and move around. Around 3pm they still hadn't stopped, and while they weren't painful, they were coming every 5-7 minutes without fail. I called my doctor's office, and they told me to head to the Women's Center at our local medical center and ask to be put on a monitor. I called Jim, and we decided he wouldn't come with me because I didn't want him to worry unnecessarily, or just sit by the bed while I was on a monitor staring at me, helpless. I felt it would be better for me to update him on the situation and he had a lot to do at home with work and school, so he was better off focusing on that and receiving update texts instead of sitting in the monitoring room at the medical center.

I was on a monitor for about 45 minutes. I was, indeed, having contractions every 5-7 minutes, but they weren't labor contractions, and they weren't progressing at all to become such, and Eddy was responding well to them. Then the nurse "checked" me and I was still all closed up - that's a good thing, in case there are any people who don't know about labor reading this. (Uh, the nurse had short fingers which, if you are a woman who has been "checked" you know it makes things a bit more uncomfortable and painful in that situation. Not cool.) My doctor was the one on-call, and he was content with the nurse's evaluation and the monitor readout. He said that he would prescribe me a muscle relaxer which would relax my uterus and stop the contractions if I wanted, but I opted to wait to see if they would stop on their own, rather than be on yet another medication. If they start back up again in the same manner, I'll call his office to get the prescription, though. If they start back up again and are painful, real labor contractions, I'm supposed to head back to the medical center.

So, anywho. That was my ridiculous Tuesday. I woke up today sore all over and with an exhausted body. Here's hoping Wednesday treats me a little bit better!

I know that I've progressed in my pregnancy enough that if Eddy was born now, chances are good that she would be okay. But since I had a 39-week baby that wasn't okay, I'm not too keen on having a 32-week baby and hoping for the best. I so appreciate that my doctor is so careful with me and is not taking any chances. It's nice to have someone who cares about your health and the health of your child when faced with frightening situations like I've had in this pregnancy.

Happy Wednesday to you all!

P.S. I had a dream last night that Eddy was born (it was a super-weird dream, so I won't bore you with the crazy details) and she didn't look like me or Jim or Angel, but she had a LOT of hair (which was my focus yesterday morning with horrible heartburn, which you know if you're my Facebook friend), and it wasn't as long as Jim's crazy mane, but it was in the same sort of non-style, and wavy and thick and dark brown. Strange dream. :)

32 Weeks and 11.5 months (2 stories)

Tomorrow I will be 32 weeks pregnant. As of Wednesday, we will have 5 weeks until our delivery date. To say I'm excited would be the understatement of the century. I had a doctor's appointment today, complete with NST, an ultrasound, a visit with the doctor, and a blood draw. I got all of my questions answered from the doctor, and after telling him how much water I've been drinking and ice I've been craving, he agreed with me that I should have another glucose and iron test (hence the blood draw). The NST was fine; Eddy was moving around like a crazy girl, and her heartbeat was going up when it was supposed to. The ultrasound showed the growth spurt I knew must have occurred since my belly really grew a lot over the last three weeks (and my back pain increased significantly). Eddy is now weighing in at about 4 lbs, 9 oz (remember three weeks ago she weighed 2 lbs, 13 oz). She's now in the 50th percentile in weight, and the radiologist said that at this rate of growth she will probably hit 7 lbs by her birth at 37 weeks! So exciting. She didn't estimate length, but everything looked great, her skull and spine are growing just fine, and her stomach grew a lot in the last 3 weeks. All in all, everything looked great!

Here's a picture of a little bitty foot, and one of a little bitty hand. Eddy was facing my back today, so no face shots.



It's been almost a year since we lost our Angel. November 27th will prove to be a very difficult day in our house, and we plan to celebrate our girl on that day. I have had lots of friends have babies and/or announce pregnancies in the last 11.5 months. I have had friends that have lost babies early in pregnancy. I have heard everyone's friend's or family member's story about stillbirths. I have celebrated the milestones of babies that were born just before or just after Angel. I have been happy for all of these friends, despite the pang of pain that accompanies news like this. I miss my daughter. She shouldn't have died. We all know this. All of you know how difficult the journey has been for Jim and me. Even finding out that I was pregnant again was a bittersweet, both happy and sad time. At my appointment today the NST brought back harsh memories of being in labor and hearing Angel's heart beating, seeing the doctor and nurses look at the readout from the machine. When I'm in the OR for Eddy's delivery, I will almost certainly have flashbacks of Angel's delivery, and every second until I hear her first cries will be like hours of waiting and stress and fear.

But Sunday I found out that one of my oldest and most wonderful friends was pregnant. She and I have known each other since first grade. We grew up together. Her husband and I have known each other since 9th grade. She and her husband have struggled with getting pregnant, and it's been really hard to go through this pregnancy and know that months were passing and as my belly and baby grew, they were having a hard time. Despite conception struggles, she was so happy for Jim and me, and has been so gracious as my pregnancy has progressed. Sunday she told me she was 15 weeks along. 15 weeks! She's almost to the halfway mark already! I was so overjoyed to find out that they are expecting. And it gives me great strength of mind and heart for other friends that have struggled or are struggling with conception. And for the first time since losing Angel, there was no pang of pain that accompanied the joy I have for my friends. There was simply happiness for them, love for their unborn child, excitement for this gift they've received. It was an awakening in my heart, one that was long-coming along a difficult road. Congratulations, wonderful friends! I can't wait for our kiddos to grow up together like we got to!

Happy Monday to the rest of you. Here's hoping your week is great!

Drama finds our family, wherever we go...

Oh, wow. What a weekend! It was lovely, actually, until Sunday afternoon. Let me start by saying that I, Jim and the baby are all fine - this has NOTHING to do with us!

Sunday morning I made a big crock pot of tortilla soup to take to dinner at my dad's house Sunday evening. Around 2:30 my dad called, and I thought he was going to push dinner back, confirm we were all still coming, or ask if he needed to pick anything up/do anything before we all got there. No. He was calling to tell me that he and his ex-wife were at the emergency room because my brother had a seizure. WHAT?! Not cool. This is my brother who had invasive neurosurgery four years ago to STOP his seizures. The brother who had a benign tumor that, after taking medication daily for years to keep the seizures from happening and having countless tests to figure out what to do, a fantastic doctor found a way to remove. The brother who has been FINE since after the surgery, who has carried on his life, grown his hair to hide the scar and grown up into a successful, happy, healthy (SUPER-HEALTHY - works out all the time, runs a stream of nutritional shops, etc.) young adult. The brother who, did I mention, has been FINE for the last four years!

Um yeah. So I went up to the hospital and hung out for awhile with my dad, my brother, my brother's mom (he's my half-brother, technically, but if you read my sibling series you know we don't use that term very often), my brother's roommate and my brother's girlfriend. Our older sister got there a little while later. The CAT scan showed nothing new, a blessing but also a quandary. They were given the name of a neurologist (my brother's previous neurologist is no longer practicing) and were going to try to get in to see their family doctor today to get an official referral (for insurance purposes) to a neurologist or neurological team in the area. My brother cannot drive himself around until a doctor says it's okay, cannot bathe without someone outside the door listening for any issues, and has to resume taking daily medication.

We're hopeful that he'll find a neurologist that can explain why this happened better than the ER doctor could ("Well, sometimes this happens after a big surgery like that; there's really no way to predict it." - To which my brother replied, "Then WHY did I have the surgery in the first place!?"). He's hopeful that the daily medication will not be forever, that he won't have to have another surgery, that he'll be able to resume his life as soon as possible. I feel for him because there's nothing else I can do. It's not my problem to fix (not that it's not my problem, because anything involving a close family member counts as an issue in my life), and there's nothing I can do to help besides offer to drive him where he needs to go and offer to be there for him if he wants to hang out. I don't want to take on the stress of the situation because it won't help, and Lord knows I don't need to stress out myself or this baby with only 37 days to go in the pregnancy. We're all trying to stay calm and stay hopeful.

My heart goes out to my brother, especially, but also to his mom and our dad. I know the pain of your child hurting where there's really nothing that can be done except trust the medical team (albeit in a different way). But now, instead of being 17 and living at their houses, he's 21 and living on his own, and they can't control his surroundings or restrict his actions. Please send any positive thoughts or prayers toward Oklahoma.

Oh the drama... it always seems to find our family when things calm down.

P.S. Anyone want some chicken tortilla soup? :)

Six Weeks

Today marks 31 weeks of pregnancy. Tomorrow will bring the countdown to six remaining weeks till my scheduled c-section.

Last night was one of the worst I've had as far as restless legs are concerned. I laid down at about 9:30, read till around 10:15 and the last time I looked at the clock it was about 11:30. My legs were burning and aching and I did the only thing I know to do - move them to make them tired. I got up and stretched, paced around the living room (stumbled, actually, because the rest of me was so tired it was difficult to stay upright), laid back down and moved my legs till I fell asleep. Then, of course, I was up about every hour and a half to use the bathroom. And there were also consistent leg cramps that woke me up, but those I get while awake, as well. This morning getting out of bed took a lot of effort, and my legs were as sore as when I was training for races with my running group in Japan. I haven't run in at least 7 months. Apparently, my legs are getting a workout whether I like it or not.

43 days to go.

I don't remember pregnancy being this hard this early last time. I mean, sure, the nausea and heartburn plagued me from the start and continued until the day I delivered our Angel. But my belly already feels heavy, it's hard to put on my own shoes, the insomnia gets me about half of each week (and the restless legs keep me from falling asleep the rest of the week), the leg cramps cause so much pain that sometimes I just sob while I try to will myself to relax and Jim rubs the muscles that won't, my bladder is never empty but I'm always thirsty (despite drinking at least 96 oz of water every day, plus a cup of coffee, maybe a soda, and perhaps some iced tea), and my back pain is such that by 6pm it's hard to sit up, let alone get comfortable. I just feel like I've been beaten up every day, and that's not a happy feeling.

I know our little girl is completely worth every second of pain and struggle, and I hate to sound ungrateful, because I am SO VERY GRATEFUL that we are getting another opportunity to have a beautiful little girl in our lives. But wow, does pregnancy suck or what!? I know that these next 43 days will fly by in some sense. I know that when our sweet girl is in my arms I won't care how much pain and struggling I went through to get her there. I know this, but I'm still ready for December 22 to get here so that I can have her instead of all of this.

The first time I was pregnant I swore I would never do it again. I hated being pregnant (I HATE being pregnant - present AND past tense)! But after we lost Angel the emotional pain and the devastation of losing her were much greater than the pain I went through while carrying her for 39 weeks. So we decided to try again. And we believe that it must have been our God's plan because it wasn't difficult to get pregnant again (2 weeks of trying the first time, 2 months of trying the second), and I've had another perfectly healthy pregnancy. But I'm ready to be done. I'm ready for our little girl to get here. I don't want to be pregnant; I want to parent. I want my scars and my stretch marks and the exhaustion and the soreness and everything else to be turned into pure love and happiness for the little girl in the bassinet beside the bed (or the crib in the nursery, or the pack-n-play in the living room, or the car seat in the back of the car, or in my arms or in Jim's arms) instead of having nothing to show for it besides a picture of the most beautiful baby girl in the world sitting behind an urn in the curio cabinet in our living room.

I'm ready. 43 days!

Nesting Guilt

I have really been struggling lately with the direction my nesting energy has been focused. I have been going, going, going but haven't seemed to get anything accomplished baby-wise. The nursery is painted, but other than that, that side of the house is a big mess, with stuff strewn about the nursery, guest room and hallway in between.

I have been cleaning the house from top to bottom each weekend, making sure all the dishes are done and cooking and baking like a madwoman. I did yard work last weekend. This weekend I picked up all of the dog poop in our backyard, which hadn't been done in a while, and helped Jim put together our new fire pit. I have focused my energy on the garage, the house, the yard... but not the nursery.

This makes me feel guilty because I WANT to get the nursery put together and decorated, but I'm terrified of the emotional repercussions of unpacking all of the stuff that I haven't seen since right after Angel's death. My little sister will be in town later this week and will be helping me unpack and will be the muscle for the heavy stuff. I think it will help to have her there. (Updated to note that Kendal will actually be here NEXT week, not this week. Apparently I can't read a calendar.) Jim wants to help, but isn't so good at the whole decorating thing, and doesn't have a lot of time on weekends, what with working 12-16 hour days on Saturdays and Sundays.

A lovely friend told me the other night that there's no reason to feel guilty because Eddy won't know if her room is ready when she arrives. She doesn't care that it's 6 weeks from her delivery date and her crib isn't put together. She doesn't know that her changing table isn't set up and her clothes aren't put away. And my friend is right. And Jim told me I shouldn't feel guilty because we have plenty of time. But it's still hard for me. I feel like I'm being super productive, just not in the way I ought to be.

I hope that when Kendal comes to town and we get started on everything that the push will get me and I will be able to finish it all, and that I won't break down emotionally (and that if I do it will be okay and not a constant each time I unwrap something) and that I will be able to get this weight off of my shoulders.

Well, on that note I'll leave you with a photo of the revealed super secret super special project in the nursery.



 I painted one wall the lighter color of pink, made a stencil from tracing a wooden elephant, and painted the dark pink around each of the elephants. The wall across from this one is solid dark pink, and the other two are solid light pink. :)

Bookworm Baby Shower

I forgot to blog about my wonderful bookworm baby shower that my sister, mom and a few friends threw for me a few weeks ago. Since we pretty much have all we need from the first time I was pregnant, my sister decided to throw a book baby shower. I listed for her all of the books we already had for the baby, and she sent a library-themed invitation out. Everyone brought great children's books and Tana decorated her house with books galore. It was a lovely time.

Here's a shot of me with my hostesses. (from left: Vera, Tana, Amy and Marcy)



I bought a bookshelf yesterday, and am so excited about getting all of the books settled in Eddy's room! :)

29 Week Appointment! And a short rant...

I went in today for an appointment and ultrasound. It was so wonderful to get to see Eddy moving and wiggling and kicking away. The radiologist said that she's about 2lbs, 13 oz right now, in the 41st percentile (meaning that she's bigger than 41% of the other babies at her gestational age - right about average), and given my scheduled delivery date she will probably make it into the 6+ pound range by her birth at 37 weeks. That makes me really happy because delivering 3 weeks early is always a bit of a concern, even though it's "full-term"; I was hoping she'd be at least 6.5lbs. I guess we'll see! The radiologist said that she couldn't tell length for sure (because the baby is longer than the ultrasound, I guess?), but estimated it at about 13 inches long, and noted that's around 35% or so, another just about average measurement. Considering that I know a couple of SUPER TINY kids that were big at birth and some WAY BIGGER THAN AVERAGE kids that were average or small at birth, I'm not worried about delivering an average-sized baby. :) Here's a 4D shot for your viewing pleasure. She's so beautiful! And she looks so much like Jim (he says she looks like me... I guess we'll beg to differ until she gets here and we can judge accurately).


And now for my short rant. :) Those of you who know me in real life (or, let's face it, have seen pictures of me on this blog) know that I'm not the smallest girl. I've struggled with my weight since my adolescence. I'm healthy: I eat well, I exercise, I take care of myself. I do have a hard time losing weight, but I'm not so worried about it that I consider myself unhealthy or obese or think I've got a problem. I don't wear plus-sized clothing, but only just barely. I started this pregnancy 10 lbs heavier than my last one; even though initially my baby weight came right off, due to stress and emotional issues it was easy to pile them back on. But overall, I'm okay. I know that obesity is an epidemic and that I don't want to suffer from it, so I do everything I know how to stay out of that category and be healthy. Today, however, an article I saw online frustrated me beyond belief, as a large-ish woman in modern society. This article is a travesty. It's horrible. The apology is half-hearted and frustrating. It makes me so angry to read things like that. But yet, that's how a lot of people feel about the overweight in our society. I'm NOT obese, but I understand that obesity is a line that anyone could cross, and that just like any other eating disorder, obesity is a disease. Food can be an addiction; otherwise there wouldn't be support groups for it like there are for drugs and alcohol. Even with the apology, and the editor's attempt at changing the word "Fatties" to "Overweight Couples" on the search tag, the truth of the matter is that this article should never have made it to the Internet. It's offensive. A magazine such as the one that put it out should know better. It's a normally reputable magazine that just lost a LOT of readers. **And I'm stepping down from my soapbox now. :)
I hope you all have a wonderful week. I plan to get a lot done this weekend, and do very little after work each day in between. :)
 

15-Minute Commute

I'm done with my first week of work. It's been really good! I think I'm really going to like the company and the job. I hardly sat down the whole week while at work, which is GREAT for someone who craves activity like I do. After sitting in a cubicle for the last 6 months, and being unemployed and/or pregnant for the last 8 months prior to that, it's been really great to be more active. Although, at almost 7 months pregnant, it's exhausting, too. My job consists of production: printing out a whole bunch of training manuals and handouts and sorting them, putting them in binders and preparing them for the shipping section of my department. At some point in the future I will cross-train in shipping and train the shipping person in production, but the shipping person and I both started anew at these positions last week, so we're both learning our specific tasks prior to cross-training each other. So for all of you who were worried about me lifting stuff: no worries. I'm not lifting more than just stacks of paper for now, and the shipping person won't let me lift anything (not even boxes of empty binders, which aren't heavy).

My co-workers are great (though I do miss my old co-workers GREATLY!); everyone's friendly, and the group seems to consist of lots of people of different and diverse backgrounds and lifestyles, which is great. In a city where diversity is hard to come by, it's really nice to be able to meet lots of different types of people.

The best part about my new job, though? THE 15-MINUTE COMMUTE! Oh, it's wonderful being able to leave the house at 7:45 and make it to work by 8. And I usually leave around 7:40, just because I don't like to be late, and traffic made me late about 65-70% of the time I was working far away which really frustrated me. I get to lie in bed for a little while in the quiet of the mornings, get up, get around, take the dogs out, feed them, have coffee, eat breakfast and see Jim for longer than 5 minutes. It's wonderful. My company provides a health club membership to all of its employees at no cost, and I chose the YMCA for my membership. So in a few weeks I will be able to start working out there, which I'm super excited about. I will be able to go workout after work and still make it home and make dinner by a reasonable time. I'll be smelly, but I'm so excited to be able to work out again! I haven't had the time or energy, and now I have the time, so I'm hoping the energy will come. :)

Our sweet puppy girl dug an ENORMOUS hole in the backyard yesterday (I'm talking a trench about 2 feet long that leads to a hole under the ground that's about 3 feet deep) and got something lodged in her paw (that we're trying to work out slowly so it might hurt less, and because she's hesitant to let us pull on it), so she's been limping around the house pitifully. Poor girl. The moles in our yard are just ridiculous, and the dogs will dig to get to them, then just keep digging until they get called away or they decide the mole isn't there anymore, or they hit something impenetrable (in this case a pipe of some sort which involves us calling the city on Monday to make sure that the pipe isn't compromised before we fill in the hole). Raisele was so tired last night, and hobbling around on three legs, which probably exhausted her even more. She got some rare hours of on the couch snuggle time with me and then with Jim. She woke up this morning with the ability to put some weight on her paw, but the splinter is still in there and she's still favoring her hurt paw. Poor sweet girl.

I'll leave you with a couple of pictures of Raisele's hole. She must have worked really hard on that! It will sure be fun to fill back up; glad I don't have to do it! :)

Alrighty, then.

Well, today I started the new job. Apparently, all of my worry was for nothing.

There was absolutely no problem with me being pregnant. I still don't know if they knew I was when I interviewed. At some point my manager made a subtle reference to me being pregnant, but it wasn't unprofessional or strange or out of place. A couple of co-workers asked me about how far along I was, was it my first, etc. The HR manager asked me what my plans were for after the baby's born and told me she'd double-check the short-term disability leave policy so that I had all the information I needed. All-in-all, things were good. And the job for which I was hired will not initially be as physical as I first thought, so I don't have any worries about lifting too much. I will be cross-trained within the department and get to know two positions, which I love. It means more helping others and less downtime, which is great. My commute was about 15 minutes this morning, and I went to Target to get some groceries after work and got home at 5:35. Before if I had errands after work it was 6:30-7 before I got home, depending on traffic. 

So yeah. Alrighty, then. I guess I didn't have anything to worry about which is great. I'm hopeful that my time at this company will be good and that I can make a long-term career there. My colleagues seem nice and well-educated. And I learned, after talking to several people, that moving between departments and among positions seems to be a regular occurence, which gives me hope for moving up within the company at some point in the future.

Anywho, things seemed good. Thanks for all of the happy thoughts and prayers for me today.

In closing, here's a picture of my clearly civilian husband and me before a wedding on Sunday. The beard and hair, while a bit unruly, suit him, I think. :)

Eeek! FLEAS!

Sorry to leave you all hanging like I did. I'm horrible, I know! If you're not my Facebook friend, I realized, you wouldn't have gotten the "everything's okay" update after my doctor's appointment on Monday. SO...

Everything's okay. The doctor checked me for dilation and I wasn't dilating, and I haven't been bleeding or leaking anything (I know, again, TMI, get over it.) so he chalked the contractions up to Braxton-Hicks and sent me on my way. Baby Eddy's movement has been consistent. Her heartbeat has been great, and was a strong 148 bpm when I was at the doctor, and fluctuates between 142-150 when I check it each evening. I have an appointment on October 29th (probably... I start my new job Monday, more on that later, and I have to double-check the date/time with them) and will have an ultrasound then to see the little wiggle worm again. I did my glucose test at the appointment Monday, and while it definitely isn't the worst thing in the world, drinking a small bottle of super sweet, flat-tasting orange soda is not that great. I was nauseous for the hour I waited (thankfully my doctor's office gets you in to see the doc while you wait, so you're not just sitting around, like you do for military doctors... fun - not!), but I didn't get sick, so that was good. I didn't pass out when I got my blood drawn, either! Yay! And I got the call back from the nurse on Tuesday that everything was great with my blood work. No gestational diabetes or anemia or negative things at all. Hooray! I was down a pound again, which makes my grand total, um, 1.5 or so in the last 26+ weeks. But the nurse said that my belly's growth looks fine and the baby's healthy, so they aren't concerned.

Anywho... my new job! I'm starting the new job on Monday, and I'm excited but nervous about it. As I've mentioned before, I think everything will be okay, and I know I'll do well at the job for which I've been hired, but I have no way of knowing if they know about little Eddy. I guess we'll see. I can do the job for which I was hired, so I hope all will be okay. I'm hopeful and optimistic.

So, as the title of this post suggests, FLEAS! EEK! Gross. We have fleas. Correction: Raisele had fleas. I think/hope the rest of us are clear. I took the dogs to the groomer today and they called and said the dogs had fleas. So before I went to pick them up we vacuumed the house and I stripped their beds, their nap areas (blankets in the living room floor), and our bed (their favorite place to play) to wash the blankets. Both dogs got flea/tick baths, and when I picked them up I bought flea collars for both dogs and the cat. Of course, when I picked them up I discovered that it was only Raisele, which was encouraging because if Rubeus hadn't picked them up from her, with her laying on his blankets and snuggling up to him consistently, then it probably isn't the worst infestation ever (although still REALLY gross!). Hopefully we got them and they won't come back!

Anywho, that's all that's going on right now. Jim and I are going to a wedding tomorrow afternoon (he's super excited... not! he's not really into weddings, and he doesn't know either of the people getting married or anyone who'se going, so he's not too excited about being my date). I haven't done any more work on the nursery, so I don't have pictures of that yet. We're 74 days from delivery, and I'm super excited about that. Who's counting, right?

I'll leave you with a picture of our sweet pets. As much as the dogs antagonize the cat and the cat baits the dogs into chasing her so they'll get in trouble, they really do love each other. Exhibit A:

We have great pets.

Terrifying

Last night was the most terrifying night I've had in my life since the night I was in labor with Angel.

I awoke at about 1:30 a.m. in lots of pain, with waves of pain rolling across my stomach. I felt nauseous, and I felt like I needed to use the bathroom. (Sorry if you think this is TMI, but it's my blog...) I got out of bed and went into the bathroom and my body couldn't decide if I needed to throw up or something else. So I just laid down on the floor because the pain was so terrible. The source of the pain will be obvious to any woman whose ever been in labor (or had Braxton Hicks contractions). I was having frequent, excruciating, terrifying contractions. In between the contractions I both vomited and manged to empty my bowels. Then I just laid on the floor in the bathroom praying that the contractions would stop. Eddy was moving a lot; I was sure to pay attention to that. I didn't feel like I was in labor, and my water didn't break or anything. I just prayed and prayed and laid there so scared. I didn't wake Jim up because I didn't want him to worry unless I felt there was a reason for us to worry (of course this morning I was scolded for not waking him up). I knew that I might have to wake him up to go to the ER, so I didn't want to wake him unnecessarily before that.

THANKFULLY my contractions stopped in a short amount of time. But for about 20 minutes I wasn't sure if I was going into labor and what would happen if I did. I went back to bed and the baby was quiet for a little while and I was terrified because of that, but my body and mind were so exhausted that when I went back to bed I fell automatically asleep. My bladder woke me up around 6 a.m. and I felt little nudges against my belly, but not the big movements I'm used to feeling from this wiggly little girl. So I poked and prodded until she woke up fully and kicked me a lot so I knew she was okay. I fell back asleep to the rhythm of her kicks. When I awoke around 8 for the day I woke her up again so I'd know she was alright.

I was 25 weeks pregnant last Thursday. In two days I'll be at 26 weeks. (I miscounted last week when I posted that it was 11.5 weeks left... It's about that now.) I will deliver at 37 weeks, 1 day gestation via scheduled c-section. In 80 days. In 11 weeks and 3 days. She'll be just past full-term on that date. If she had been born last night there would have been very little chance that she would have survived. And financially I'm not sure that Jim and I could have survived. I am beyond thankful that I was not in labor last night. And I am even more thankful that I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning, because I can ask him about it, make sure everything is really and truly okay, and be positive that our little girl is safe.

When I told Jim about the incident this morning I was in tears, just thinking about how scared I was for her life. I can't lose another baby. I just can't.

25 weeks last Tuesday... Here's to 11 weeks and 3 days more!

The Further I Get

This has been a good but trying week. I got a new job, which I'm really excited about. It will be MUCH closer to home, and I'm psyched about that. I don't know if they know I'm pregnant, though, and that worries me. I mean, it's against the law for them to discriminate, and they hired me when I was visibly pregnant (but for all I know they didn't notice or just thought I drank a lot of beer), but I still don't want our sweet girl to be a source of contention. I don't want my new co-workers to resent me because of it. I hope that everything will work out with my new job and it will be as good as I'm hoping it will be. I will work there for approximately 2.5 months before my scheduled c-section and I take about 2 months off work.

I am so excited about this baby, I really am. But it's so hard not to be negative some days. I had some days dealing with that this week and as the weeks progress the days in which I struggle get more frequent. I am terrified. The further we go, the longer I'm pregnant, the harder she kicks, the more scared I am. She's really healthy. She's really strong. At this point when I was pregnant with Angel I had just started feeling concentrated kicks. With Eddy, Jim has already felt her moving, and we can see my belly move when she wiggles excessively. It's great! But I've been here before. I've had a healthy pregnancy. I've gotten all the way to labor. And she's gone. And I'm terrified. And I don't want to even think about the possibility of losing Eddy in the same way. But it's hard not to think about it; it's hard not to imagine it. It's hard to stay positive. It's hard not to fall back into the place where I find ways to blame myself for losing Angel. It's hard to think about finishing the nursery and then the possibility that we might come home with an empty car again with no baby to put in there. It's beyond terrifying. I've never been more scared of anything in my entire life. I doubt I ever will be again. I know I'm not crazy, that it's something that just has to be dealt with, that every parent that loses a child goes over and over and over and over a million more times the way his or her child was lost and how things could have and should have been different.

The further I get, the harder it is. But the more hopeful I am, too. An Internet acquaintance posted on Twitter the other day this link about a couple whose adoption was turned over when their son, who they adopted at birth, was three years old. His biological father, who was not his legal guardian when he was born/put up for adoption, wanted custody and a judge awarded it to him. Heartbreaking. This acquaintance has a son adopted from Vietnam and tweeted about how scary the domestic adoption option is because of stories like that. I agree. It's hard for me to express it in 140 characters or less on Twitter, but I really feel for this woman and her husband! Jim and I had a horrible, terrible thing happen to us, yes, but we are still able to get pregnant, and I am still physically able to carry a child to term. I have done it. I hope to do it again this time. But this lovely woman is unable to do that. I feel selfish, in a way, for being so scared about this pregnancy, for being so nervous about the possibility of trying to get pregnant again. But at the same time, the heartbreak of losing Angel made me this way, not the fear of having a baby in general, not being scared of being pregnant or childbirth or being a parent. Even though I love Eddy more than I thought possible and she's still 11.5 weeks away from her scheduled delivery, I loved Angel this much, too, from the moment I knew she was in there. I know for a fact that I can't go through this again, emotionally. I have the same fears as Jessica about domestic adoption. I know personally a couple who, several times, dealt with the sorrow of bringing home a child and then the birth mother changing her mind. I have reservations about adoption in general. I've read the stories about international adoption problems! But I don't think I can be pregnant again after Eddy's birth. I'm done.

You, my faithful readers, know that Jim and I leaned toward adoption before I got pregnant again. We decided to leave things in the hands of the God we believe in and believe that if we were able to get pregnant again things would work out differently. But if we decide to add to our family in the future international adoption will probably be the way we do it. That, or we'll decide not to do it. These last 20 weeks have been too scary for me to think about attempting to grow a baby again. Every day I prayed that she was still in there, that she was still okay. Now if she's still for too long I get so scared (by too long I mean about 45 minutes - that's how easily I scare! lucky for me she's really wiggly and I don't usually have to poke at her too much to get her to move). I listen to her heartbeat every night before I go to bed, even if she's super active all day. I scheduled my c-section for 37 weeks, 1 day gestation because I was too scared to wait longer than that, for fear that since I went into labor at 39 weeks the first time, it will happen naturally earlier if I wait. I am so excited to get to 30 weeks because the doctor will have me coming in twice a week for non-stress test monitoring and every two weeks for ultrasounds. I will be so glad to have that extra care because I will be so glad to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm as okay as possible and that she's as okay as possible.

I know that life in general is never guaranteed. That's why I always tell Jim that I love him before we part. I want that to be the last thing he hears me tell him and the last thing I hear him tell me if we never get to speak again. I also know that life is too short to be scared to try things, to be pessimistic about life and the possibilities it holds. If I were too scared, I would have told Jim I couldn't try again. But despite the fact that I've been strong, that Jim and I have made it through something horrible and come out together on the other side, that we have decided to dive in to try again, that we are more hopeful about Eddy's chances of making it than we have ever been about something else, I can't do it again after this.

The further I get, the harder it is. I am so ready for December 22. I am so ready to meet our baby. I want so badly to hold her in my arms, to feel her moving outside of my body, to hear her cry, to feel her warmth, for her to react when I kiss her, to not have to leave her in a cold morgue, to not have to leave her with someone that will give her back to us in a ceramic urn. The further I get, the more ready I am, and the more I know that I can't do this again.

Baking for fun

I was in a baking mood this weekend and decided to try my hand at some new stuff! One of my favorite cakes is a recipe from one of my favorite friends from Japan, Michelle B. Her name is a link to her blog, but it's password protected, so you'll have to know her and ask for an invitation to view it. :) It's a pistachio rum cake and it's absolutely delicious! I posted the recipe on my Facebook page, but if you aren't my Facebook friend, you'll have to e-mail me for the recipe. Or post a comment and I'll e-mail it to you. :) Instead of the cake, this weekend I decided to make cake cookies. I found a cake cookie recipe and combined the two recipes. And the result was DELICIOUS!



I also have been wanting to make bread from scratch. I had come across this recipe awhile ago, and decided this was the weekend to try it. SO GOOD! I was pretty proud of myself. Jim helped a lot, though, so I can't take all the credit.



I rolled my half in salt and just sprinkled it on top of Jim's. It was good either way. Of course, the dogs decided they thought it would be delicious, too. And they took what was left of my roll (minus three slices I'd eaten) and licked all over it. Well, it was good while it lasted. Highly recommend the recipe, though!

This morning (around 11:30; I'm not a completely crazy pregnant woman!) I really wanted chips and salsa, but all we had left were chip crumbs. So I took some whole wheat tortillas that we had and brushed them with olive oil and ground some sea salt on top and baked them at 350 for about 12-15 minutes, until they were crispy, moving them around and flipping them a couple of times (I coated both sides with oil and sea salt). I let them cool and they stiffened up a bit more. They were so good!

I'm pretty proud of this weekend's baking endeavors. I'm an okay cook, but I've never been really keen on baking. I guess I'm getting better!

Tana Rana

Tana and me at an OKC Thunder game in February 2010.

First off, let me just say that my sister's first and middle names do not rhyme, even though my parents (no offense, Mom and Dad) didn't use great judgment on the spelling of Rana. It's pronounced like Renee. So just picture that. :)

Now, my older sister, Tana, is no ordinary woman. She's a super woman! We didn't really get along so well when we were growing up. Of course, we loved each other, as sisters do, but we also fought a lot, as sisters do. But when I hit 9th grade and she hit 12th grade, something shifted. After that, we've rarely fought. She's been my best friend (other than Jim after we met) since then. Though as we've grown wiser (now at the ripe old ages of 31 and 28), and our views on life have not shifted, and changed from those we were taught growing up (and we've kind of gone opposite directions on some things), my older sister has remained one of my best friends.

Tana and I are full-blood siblings. We're each other's only full-blood sibling. We are the products of our mother and father's short-lived high-school sweetheart romance and marriage. Mom and Dad divorced when we were young. Tana was old enough to understand a little of what was going on. I was only two when they separated, so them being apart is really all I know. But Tana and I stuck together through it all, and she helped me through my childhood and adolescence as no one else could have. She went to college at Oklahoma State University (boo Cowboys! go Sooners!), which was about an hour and a half from home. And on the weekends that she came home she spent most of her time with her boyfriend (now husband), so I didn't see her as much as I would have liked to. But our friendship remained. And over the years, despite great distances between us (since I've moved a lot), we've gotten only closer.

Now Tana is a stay-at-home mom of two of the most beautiful children in the world. She has been married to her high school sweetheart, Matt, for more than 10 years. Their son is five and their daughter is two, and I love those kids so very much. Tana finished her Master's degree when she was pregnant with their son, but gave up her teaching career to stay home with the kids. Being a teacher has helped her be a great mom. She's a great teacher to her kids, and now that her son is in school, she helps him with his learning.

Even though our political views differ somewhat, and our religious views (even though we're both Christians) differ somewhat, we get along very well. She's never made me feel badly about myself even though I'm at least an inch shorter than her but at least 5-6 pant-sizes bigger. When we were in Japan and I was greatly missing Mexican food, she pulled together a collection of recipes from her friends and family to send us Mexican food recipes I could make for us to ease our cravings. She's never questioned what I wanted to do with my education or life, and she's supported my relationship with Jim, my decisions about where to live, my choices about life in general and my plans concerning parenting. She shared so much of her daughter's things with us the first time I was pregnant, and didn't ask for anything back when we packed it all up. She made me countless baby items (she's a seamstress - tanascreations.com). After our Angel died, Tana mourned her niece's death with grace, and helped our parents and younger siblings with their mourning. She's been a constant source of strength for me, and someone I can talk to frankly about everything that's happened. While I know she's shed a great many tears for our loss, she's never taken the loss onto herself or tried to make it about herself, only tried to help us as much as possible. She was overjoyed when we told her we were moving back here to our hometown (where she and her husband have been settled for a while). She helped my mom screen houses when we were shopping online for a home from 8,000 miles away. She helped me pick fabric and made beautiful curtains and throw pillows for our new home. She was beyond excited when I told her I was pregnant again. She accepted with great grace the possible burden when I asked if she and Matt would care for our children should something happen to both Jim and me in the future. She is excited when we come to her house, and loves that we love her children. She is already looking forward to when Jim and I have date nights and she'll get to sit for Baby Eddy. She has been super encouraging about all of our choices concerning my pregnancy and delivery options, and when I was choosing a doctor here she gave me input without being discouraging. We've bonded over our love for running, and she was one of my biggest supporters when I signed up for Tokyo Marathon.

Overall, I would say that Tana has been my biggest female source of inspiration for my life. She's smart, she's funny, she's pretty, she takes care of herself. She loves me and our parents and our siblings. She thinks my husband's great and never forgets his birthday or our anniversary. I heard someone say once that when you first meet her, Tana seems like she may be fake, just because she's so nice. But once you get to know her, you realize that she's actually that nice! When I first heard that statement I was thinking that's not such a good thing. But I could see that. I suppose many people aren't accustomed to someone that's so very nice. I guess I'm used to it. :) She's real and sincere and friendly and accepting and loving. She's great. I can't say enough about how wonderful my older sister is.

Painting

So. How are you? Right, this is a one-sided dialogue.

Okay, so over the long weekend I went to two home improvement stores in search of paint supplies and no/low-VOC paint. I found supplies at one store, and the two perfect colors of pink, available in no VOC, at the other. On Saturday I began my quest in the nursery, taping everything off (highly recommend this product - WONDERFUL!). Then Sunday I got to work. I wound up painting most of Sunday and most of Monday (Labor Day means you labor away on house projects, right!?), and I didn't quite finish the room. It's a small room. But I wasn't slacking off! I finished: one coat of edging and two coats of paint on two walls. One coat of my super special super secret project. The project alone took 6 hours. Here's a sneak preview:



No, I did not hand-draw that. I'm a proud stenciler. And no, I will not tell you what the project as a whole is. Not yet. I'm hoping to finish up the room this weekend, then I will post pictures of the whole thing. Trust me when I tell you it's awesome. And if you don't think it's awesome when you see the finished product I don't care. Because I LOVE it! And if Eddy hates pink and/or elephants, well, she won't be able to tell me for a couple of years, so we'll deal with it then. :)

Anywho...

Not much else has been going on around here. I had an appointment with my regular doctor on Tuesday (at 22 weeks), and everything was good. Eddy's heartbeat was 148, and has been sticking between 135-150 when I listen to it in the evenings at home. Doctor said I'm measuring right on track. I have to do the dreaded glucose test at my next appointment (the receptionist told me I need to fast after midnight the night before and I was thinking, "Midnight! I've been asleep for 2-3 hours by then! I'll have no trouble with that!"). The glucose test really isn't that bad; I just have to hope that it's a good morning that morning so I don't throw back up the flat, super-sweet orange soda and have to go back for another test! I'm not really worried about the test because I didn't have gestational diabetes during my first pregnancy and my diet hasn't been any less strange or unhealthy this time around. I'm up one pound overall (but I gained three since my last appointment... I hadn't realized that I'd lost weight). By this time when I was pregnant with our Angel I had gained about 12 pounds and I was working out 4-5 days a week. Perhaps the secret to not gaining weight is to eat healthy and sit around like a lump? Probably not, but it's working for me so far! No, just kidding. I would give anything to have the time to work out! Thankfully it's cooled down quite a bit here in the southwest, so I'm hoping I can start walking the dogs in the evenings. Lord knows I watch too much tv as it is!

Jim's been working really hard at school and from our home business. I think he works too hard, but he's content, and that's the least I could ask for. As long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Everything else in our lives is circumstantial and temporary, so I won't really go into any of that. Suffice it to say that we are aware that the daily frustrations and stresses both inside our home and those that are external will all work themselves out in due time. Of course we both hope for things to work themselves out sooner, rather than later, but we try to be positive about all of that. We're hoping to find some sort of normalcy again within the next month so that we can spend the last couple of months of this pregnancy really focusing on each other and getting our home, hearts and minds ready for parenthood again. (Of course, we've been ready for parenthood since March 23, 2009, when we found out we were pregnant the first time. This has proven to be a very stressful and emotionally trying time in our lives, due to things around us personally and professionally, to this pregnancy, and to the realization that even though this is not how things were supposed to be or how things were anticipated to be when we were planning our second child, this is how things are so we have to live with it; needless to say, it's taking a lot of conscious effort to find normal in our current situation.)

Well, it's 9:03, which means it's three minutes past puppy bedtime and three minutes past time for me to go get ready for bed! Gonna go take some Tylenol PM crawl into bed with the Kindle and read till my eyes get droopy. Thank GOD tomorrow's Friday!

Darn it!

I forgot to post over the weekend. You should just fire me from this non-paying gig. Sorry! Not much has been going on, though, in my defense! It's time for me to post about my big sister, but that will take a while (because she's so great), so be patient!

In the meantime, Jim and I have been busy at work making plans for the nursery. I successfully cleaned out two boxes of files, made a box of stuff to be shredded, another full box of stuff to be recycled, and fit all of our files into one half of one drawer. Quite a feat! This effort was encouraged by the necessity to use our office closet as a catch-all for extraneous wires, crafting stuff (which is all nicely organized), and wrapping paper. Right now, because of our current living situation with Jim's cousin, all of the stuff that was being kept in the guest room closet is now in the middle of the nursery. I'd like to get it out of there this weekend and try to start decorating, since it's a three-day weekend. I have really exciting plans for the nursery, but in case my creative mind ends up being too big for reality, I don't want to share them yet. :) Hopefully Saturday will see the moving of the big stuff that needs to go into the attic (Jim's keyboard and its stand, a box of music that we don't need out if the keyboard is going to the attic, stuff like that), the moving of the stuff that will go into the office closet into its new home, and the moving of the nursery stuff to the center of the room so we can paint. Then, my plans for Sunday (it's a good thing Jim doesn't read this blog because he would be looking at me like I'm crazy!) are to buy tape and paint and tape off the nursery. I'm going to get a low/no-VOC paint so that I can do some of the work myself, and so that the room will be able to be decorated immediately when it dries, rather than waiting for the chemicals to air out. Then Monday will hopefully see the finish of painting, including my special creative project. We'll see... This is all sounding rather ambitious for a lazy weekend when I type it all out!

The rest of the weekend will find me relaxing, hopefully seeing some of the family (even if I have to put them to work to get to see them), and watching the Office (10 hours on TBS on Monday!). But I do plan to be productive. Maybe we can steal back the tv we put in the guest room when Brad got here and put it in the nursery so I can work while I watch 10 hours of one of my favorite shows... :)

Well, that's about all that's going on in our world. Like I said, we're PRETTY BORING (and glad to be when we can!). Jim's going crazy already and it's only his second week of school. He's taking 13 hours, which may not seem like a lot, until you find out that 5 hours are Spanish, 5 hours are Physics and 3 hours are Calculus. Unless you're as big of a geek as he is (which I highly doubt, because he's about as geeky as you can get), that makes the whole semester seem crazy! But he loves it, and I love him! :)

Hope you're all having a good week!